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Chimps as bureaucrat occupational hazard

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Chimpanzees are not animals, but ex-bureaucrats damaged by working as bureaucrats for many years. Governments do not want us to know the horrendous occupational hazards of being a bureaucrat, so THEY dump all severely damaged bureaucrats in the jungle and call them animals. Chimpanzee infants look so human because they are human, and the "poachers" are just a cover for moving them to civilized families. This also explains why there are no chimpanzee fossils. See also bigfoot.

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