Mr. Ness is actually just his witness protection name, and has gone undercover ever since the Oxi-Clean commericals aired in the US because he is really a cyborg of Billy May's son created in the year 3031. This explains his facination and expertise with robotics. 


He makes other robots like himself for money and to help educate future generations in cyborg biology (robotics). His original prototype (Mini Ness v1) went rouge and tried to mimic Mr. Ness' hair. Then he was banished by Mr. Ness but, returns 10 years later and Mini Ness meets his creator once again at Lakewood High School. Mr.Ness accepted Mini Ness with open arms upon their reunion. The one to call attention to Ness and Mini Ness's relations was their arch nemisis Mr.Borg.

Mr. Ness was created to start a partnership between Oxi-Clean and Nintendo to promote the new NES and later came the SNES with ultra scrubbing power.

Vladimir Putin realized that this was too much of a threat to world. He personally sent Darth Maul and his pet bobcat to assassinate him. This lead to Mr. Ness to go to Jackie Chan to learn how to put wax on and off a car for 19.95. He is now ready and trained in the Arts of the Pitchman.

Mr. Ness has trained in anything that ends in jitsu. He also speaks 12 languages English, French, Spanish, Arabic, German, Russian, Australian, Infomercial, Sarcasm, Criticism, RobotC, Nessenese.

Mr. Ness has also been trained in the art of bobcat assassination and panther fighting. Through expert use of packet checking and black polos, Mr.Ness has the ability to fight entire packs of bobcats at once (theoretically he claims).

While all of this information is claimed to be known and distributed by Cody Livingston, this is not true. The real creators of this article choose to remain anonymous until further notice.

Mr. Ness is also responsible for many innovations in cyborg technology and should given credit where credit is due

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